Breakdown Would Be Tickled
by TacticianZephine
Summary: CyLAS has indeed earned his place at the table. Too bad it happens that it is my dissection table. They don't call me a butcher for nothing.
1. Chapter 1

**I've had an extremely bad day, and I decided to do something productive with my life. There's probably a trillion of these, but I'm doing my own, because I need to work out some aggression, and I had this first piece laying around, and Nightbird's scene with Sunny and Sides requires too much effort, and won't be nearly gory enough.**

**If I have to tell you why I have rated this M, you need to think about your life. Hint: Fragging robot gore. Everywhere.**

* * *

Many of my fellow Decepticons see me as little more than a vain, shallow flat-rater*. Listening to the chatter in the corridors, you'd think I spend all of my time in front of a mirror. That the only mental state I know is self-obsession. But that's just not true.

I'd felt nothing but hatred for the creature, and, though I truly hate to admit it, I was enraged at Lord Megatron himself for allowing it to exist, even he had called it an abomination. But I could do nothing about it. Not until he came to me before the defeat...

**  
I had been fuming all day, and it seemed that Lord Megatron knew it. He came into my Medical Bay while I was repairing a frame welder.

"Knock Out, I fear that our new... ally... may fail us after all."

I went off before I could stop myself. "What was your first clue?! It's nothing but an abomination, and I am appalled that you have allowed it to live!"

I suddenly realized what I'd said, and took a step back, lowering my gaze to my workbench and gripping the edge of it. Rather than punish me for my blasphemy, as I expected, he did something as uncharacteristic as Soundwave deciding to burst into song.

"It's all right, Knock Out."

I swear, I heard something crack from the speed at which my head snapped up. "Sir?"

"I once had a small gambling problem, Doctor, and occasionally, it comes back to haunt me. I occasionally make mistakes. CyLAS is one such case. Soundwave informs me that he may not be able to maintain control of Project Damocles much longer, and should the device be destroyed, CyLAS will have nothing left to offer to our cause. You recall your earlier request, I trust?"

"No, sir."

He lifted his hand, holding a transmitter flat on his palm, which was projecting a life-sized holographic image of Soundwave's visor. "Soundwave, remind Knock Out of his request on the bridge."

I watched the image of myself pointing viciously at the creature, then extending my rotary saw, hearing my voice distorted by Soundwave's recording.

_"This is the human that dissected Breakdown! Please, my liege, allow me to return the favor!"_

"Oh. That one. What of it, my Lord?"

"I've decided to grant it. If, and when, Damocles fails, you shall have your chance to... 'return the favor'."

* * *

**Doctor's Note: For those of you who don't know, "flat-rater" dates back to the days on Cybertron when there were cheap, illegal clinics run by unskilled mechanics and bodywork technicians, advertising to the masses who could not afford quality medical care.**


	2. Chapter 2

**More angriness to write with today, Chapter Three should be finished by the end of the day if I start now.**

* * *

"Sir... are you really sure you should be up here?" one of the units asked me. "Lord Megatron said-"

"The orders you're given and the orders I'm given are two different sets of orders," I barked, brandishing my prod at him. "Now keep quiet, we don't want the entire bridge to know we're back here."

The door to the bridge slid open almost too quietly, as if it had been opened for us, rather than opening itself at our approach. I glanced up to where Lord Megatron was addressing that thing, and noticed Soundwave. He was just turning away from his console and walking to his place beside Lord Megatron.

Once he was in place, Lord Megatron turned back to the creature. "CyLAS. You have earned your place at the table."

"Lord Megatron... I am honored."

"Knock Out's dissection table!"

The creatured turned, and looked directly at me. I kept a smile on my faceplates and lightly shook my head as I spoke, gripping my energon prod. "Breakdown would be _tickled_."

CyLAS looked back to our Leader, and skittered backward. Well, about as much as Breakdown had _ever_ been capable of skittering, considering size and lack of fine foot movement that allowed the capacity to skitter.

"_No_... Lord Megatron... _why?_"

I charged the prod. I could tell it would be a problem, if CyLAS ran and I wasn't prepared to chase. Lord Megatron took a couple of steps forward instead.

"Because Damocles was the best you had to offer, and it is no more. The Human Factor _did_ indeed tip the scales."

Soundwave flicked a picture of the Autobots' pets onto his visor, and Lord Megatron spoke once more. "In favor of my _enemies_."

I jammed the prod deep between a plating gap in the creature's back, smirking as I heard it yell, watched it fall to the floor. Lord Megatron made another move toward it. "He will be a fascinating case for study."

I got to one knee beside the abomination, tapping the exposed optic as I smirked. "I will leave no fiber or fiber _optic_ unexamined," I promised.

The Eradicon units seized the creature by the arms and dragged it off of the bridge. I stood slowly, and started after them.


	3. Chapter 3

**So, I'm extremely ashamed, not of this chapter but of the one to follow it, but Knock Out is becoming one extremely sick bastard and I hope that I will be allowed to remain in this fandom.**

**A friendly reminder: Rated M For A Reason.**

* * *

"Strap it down," I ordered the Eradicons over the abomination's screams. "If it gets loose, it'll be your heads."

They obviously realized that I was not kidding, because they made an extreme effort to ensure that that thing didn't get off the table. When I finally dismissed them, they were practically tripping over themselves in their haste to get as far from the Medical Bay as possible.

I looked over my toolkits, not facing the creature. "Now. Where to begin..."

"Killing me won't bring your partner back!" CyLAS spat. "He'll still be dead!"

I turned to the creature, keeping my anger hidden. "... you know... there's a horror film from this planet that I watched once. A line in particular movie comes to mind right now." I traced a claw down the chestplating. "'_Sometimes... dead... is... better_'."

CyLAS's one good optic widened and it quieted. Good, good, it was panicking. This was good.

I turned away. "The patch marks on this plating are perhaps some of the most crude I've seen in my lifespan, are these from your original examination? Surely they are, humans can't quite seem to do much of anything correctly. No matter. Certainly you're familiar with a full autopsy-style dissection?"

When I recieved no answer, I had to assume that it was not. "Well, then. I don't know how you flesh creatures do things, but our autopsies consist first of complete disassembly and examination of the appendages and limbs, followed by the removal of the head and opening of the torso. Finally, the torso is cleaned out and the head is disassembled."

"Now... the question is... do I start with a rotary saw... or with a laser cutter... ooh, I'd forgotten about these... Hm... decisions, decisions." I picked up the dullest plasma blade in my toolkit and ran my thumb over it. "Ooh, this'll take awhile to cut through that plating, won't it?"

CyLAS struggled. "No!"

"Hush, fighting me will only make it worse." I turned to it, blade in hand, and ran a scan. "Now, where are your fleshy bits, I don't want to rupture anything. Let's see, cutters are _terrible_ for joints, but I suppose it will do..."

I switched my blade for a cutter and moved down to the twitching foot, positioning the tip at the ankle joint. I fired it up, listening to the oddly-soothing hum as the red beam shot downward toward the ankle.

The abomination screamed. "STOP! GOD, STOP, IT BURNS!"

I was deaf to its pleas, continuing my work on severing the first ankle. "Tsk, tsk, tsk. I really _must_ upgrade my equipment, this has _hardly_ scratched the plating... oh, hush now. It can't hurt that much... then again, Breakdown always _was_ sensitive..."

CyLAS thrashed against his restraints. "STOP!"

"Oh, there we go. Oh, shush, it's just a scorch!" I killed the laser cutter and ran the tip of one claw over the burn. It had barely cut into the plating, a little wax and some solder would banish it, but for now it was a weak point. "Right. Now... plasma blade, plasma blade... hm... this one will do nicely..."


	4. Chapter 4

**Okay, turns out that Chapter FIVE will be the big one. I'd written most of this one by the time I was able to confer with someone more experienced at writing horror than myself, so think of this chapter as your official gore warning for Chapter Five.**

**Remember Kids: Rated M For A Reason!**

* * *

I don't know how I ever made it through medical training with my tendency to rush through things. I am a very skilled medic when I do slow up and actually try, but I normally don't like to take very long on any procedure, patch-and-go is my motto, seeing as how I have more important things to attend to. But I was extremely pleased with myself for taking so long on the dissection process.

It had taken me seven megacycles to conclude the first step of my procedure, which I had done by the tablet, first removing the hands and feet at the wrist and ankle, then the forearms and lower legs at the elbow and knee, and finally the upper arms and thighs at the shoulders and hip joints. Many morticians, medics, and scientists removed the whole limb first, and then cut it up, but who was I to argue with how things were supposed to be?

The creature was now held down by nothing and lying in a pool of its own fluid. It couldn't get up even if it wanted to, it was in the foggy state between recharge and consciousness brought on by fatigue. Its protests had also died down, it was now only capable of repeating the word "no" every so often due to exhaustion from the fluid loss and the havoc that immense pain wreaked on the sensors. Breakdown always did have a powerfully sensitive nervous system once you got through that thick plating of his.

I've never been one for bizzare fetishes, but I was surprised to find myself strangely and sickly... _aroused_ by the sight of the helpless, nearly-dead creature. Maybe it was simply my lack of... ahem... _contact_ with another Cybertronian, and this was a chance to satisfy some unconsious need, maybe I am just one sick son of a glitch, possibly it was a kink that had existed all along without my knowledge... or perhaps it was simply because even though it wasn't the assistant I had come to depend upon... it _did_ still look like him.

Now, mind you, Breakdown and I were _far_ from a bonded pair, but that doesn't mean we didn't share more than a few heated interfaces. When work is slow, and you have needs and a willing assistant with an impossibly intense sexual attraction to the color red, things will inevitably happen. And sometimes, they keep happening, when the assistant in question happens to have a _very_ large spike. Well, it _would_ have been a shame to waste such a _perfect_ opportunity to have the experience again...

Frag it. Breakdown had always been the dominant one during our little sessions, it was my turn to take control.

I stood over the creature, tracing a claw along the hip plating. "Wakey wakey," I crooned. "The fun's just starting."

It merely groaned.

"You see, I've missed Breakdown _so_ badly," I informed it, leaning on the wall. "You've no idea how hard it is to find good help around here. No mere _Eradicon_ has the finnesse or skill with a rotary buffer to tend to gloss like _this_. And you don't know how much _harder_ it is to find a mech who's as good a frag as Breakdown was."

The optics, which had been dimmed, flared in panic. "What?!"

"You didn't know? That's funny, I thought it would've been obvious to you once you had _violated_ Breakdown's memory banks and found my file." Before it could ask, I answered the question I knew was coming. "I noticed that you had shared his attraction to my coloration. It's impossible to mistake the sound of a spike pressurizing behind plating when you hear it. You've stolen much more than his nervous and skeletal system."

"Please... just kill me..."

"I can't do that just yet." I touched my claws to the codpiece, and smirked. "Let's see about that spike, hm?"


	5. Chapter 5

**This is the chapter that caused me to rate this fic M. There is gore, rape, sadism, murder, blood, et cetera. He's a little crazy here. It's not as well-done as I hoped, but the general idea is enough, I think.**

**And as for Knock Out randomly speaking German, I was inspired by one of the Knock Out blogs that I follow on Tumblr, and I think that it's cool and I borrowed it, I THINK it's the highglossfinish blog.**

* * *

I slid back the panel as I'd done so many times before, freeing the half-pressurized spike. The energon veins were glowing gently as the pressure continued to build. CyLAS gasped as it felt my fingers ghost over the interface components.

"What... what are you doing..."

"Quiet," I hissed, gripping the spike. It groaned. "_Es ist eine weile für dich gewesen, nicht wahr_?"

"How do you... what... this isn't..." It arched under my claws. "This isn't possible... what are these components..."

"You don't know a thing about our anatomy, do you?" I purred. The creature's optics flared in panic when it heard my engine rev. "And to think you managed to patch yourself into Breakdown's system without knowing anything about the Cybertronian body."

It tried to thrash against me, to no avail.

"Now, let me see..." I released the spike and reached for a power line, running my claw over the end of it. "Ooh, I remember now. _Lasst uns hier zu sehen_..."

I traced a finger over the valve, which instinctively clenched, as if the creature had any control over it. Very quickly, my claw was replaced by the end of the power line. The creature groaned, and wiggled again, trying to push me off. The wires protruding from the shoulders sparked and twitched. Phantom limb movement.

"Naughty naughty," I grinned, burying the end of the line in its valve and hitting a button on the control panel so that the secure-grip spikes dug into the mesh of the valve. The creature screamed in pain, and I watched both lubricant and vital mech fluid leak out of the valve around the line.

"There. Now, you were a pathetic excuse for a scientist, but you _did_ call yourself one. You understand, of course, that this is _all_ done in the name of research."

"You're sick," it spat, one optic dimmed in fatigue and pain. "You're sick, and you're twisted."

"Flattery will get you nowhere," I reminded it. I climbed up onto the table and straddled the creature, impaling myself on its spike. I let my head fall back as I felt the heat and girth of the spike.

I had many mirrors around the medical bay, partly because it disturbs me to not have access to one, and partly because I occasionally use them for viewpoints whilst I'm working. I glanced at the one mounted on the wall directly behind the dissection table. I started to move on the spike, rolling my hips, shuttering my optics every now and then.

The creature growled, twitching again, and I shook my head. "You're going to make this hard, aren't you?" I sighed, reaching for the switch to power up the line I'd inserted into the creature. I then flipped it downward.

The creature screamed again, jolting underneath me as several thousand volts of electricity pulsed through it. I caught a bit of feedback and let out a quiet groan. "Mmmn, yes. That's better."

Oh, yes, it was almost like being back with Breakdown. I was almost able to forget what sort of abomination my assistant's body was playing host to.

I shuttered my optics, replaying a loop of one of our last "sessions".

_"Knock Out... stop __**teasing**__ me!"_

_"Oh, but you love it, Breakdown."_

_"Oh yeah?" The image flipped as Breakdown flipped me onto my back. "And __**you**__ love __**this**__."_

_"Ohhhh, yes."_

"Get... off... of... me..." CyLAS growled.

I popped the shutters back off of my optics. "Oh, there you go, spoiling my mental images," I pouted. "Naughty."

I picked up the lazer cutter, looking over it and then over the creature's chestplate. "Hm... I really ought to finish my dissection... but then again, I did miss this... hm. I _can_ multitask..."

"What?!"

I dropped the cutter and simply transformed my hand into the rotary blade, firing it up and touching it to the creature's chestplating.

It screamed louder, and I couldn't help but grin as a small fountain of mech fluid sprayed up and splashed over my face. My glossa snaked out of my mouthpiece and I lapped some of it off of my chinpiece. "Mmmm."

It took me half a megacycle to cut through the plating, but I finally was able to crack open the chest and abdominal plates. Once I got the chestpiece open, I had to pause.

Inside was chaotic circuitry and energon veins, cut and put back together in a horrific manner. A few disconnected wires sparked uselessly, and even the connected ones crackled from where they'd been poorly repaired. Fluid was leaking out of the badly-patched veins. The fuel pumps and storage tanks had been ravaged, they were mostly gone, and partially absorbed energon leaked slowly from the cracks. The waste tank was in a worse state, but there was no fluid there. From the look of the fuel lines and such, none could've made it there anyway.

What had those humans done in here?

I saw the human head nestled in the spark chamber, scarred and disfigured, and I couldn't help but smile at its terrified expression. It was missing most of its dental plates, and it looked as poorly patched together as the rest of Breakdown's body had been. "Ah, there we are. My, you're an ugly one, aren't you?"

I'd unconsciously resumed my movements on the creature's spike, and the face contorted. I smirked at it, abandoning my saw and flexing my claws. "All right then. Let me see... waste tank first."

I reached into the cavity and gripped the waste tank in my hand. With one tug, I ripped it out of the body. The monster howled, its hips jolting upward. I paused to let out a soft moan as the creature's spike moved deeper. The energon lines that fed into the tank began to leak, the fluid turned viscous, squelching as it slithered out of the ruptured tubes. I dropped the component in the dissection tray. "Well, that's one tank down, three to go."

Next came the storage tanks. These bled a little bit more, the fluid had still been liquified. By now, my hands were stained blue and violet with the vital fluids of the creature, it would take forever to get off. They joined the waste tank in the tray, and I turned my attention to the fuel pumps. There were two, as with most Cybertronians, but there was a third casing between them.

I tore out the fuel pumps, then, rather than investigate the mystery casing, I set to removing veins and wires, placing them in a separate tray. Then, I finally broke open the foreign casing to see what had been added. Inside was a small collection of human organs, preserved in a red fluid.

What was this? It smelled of copper, but it was nearly solid, like a gel.

I pulled out this casing, and the head reacted. Its optical units widened, looking panicked, and its mouthpiece snapped open. Odd gasping noises issued forth from it, and I narrowed my optics. What was it doing? Choking? I knew that humans needed oxygen, had its intake unit been contained in the casing? Was I suffocating it?

Meanwhile, I'd begun moving faster on the spike, and when I noticed this, I felt a surge of sick pleasure at the gore of it all. I transformed two fingers into their small scalpel form, and before I could think, I'd begun cutting the head, using the tip of one claw to peel back the layers of flesh.

I finally got through to the inside of the cranial casing, and speared the contents on the end of my claw. The creature had managed to scream again, and once I'd yanked up on the pink organ, I saw the red fluid again, but liquid, ooze out of it.

The creature thrashed several more times (I recognized these as death throes), and when it arched up the final time, I felt myself swept into sudden, jolting overload.

Once it had subsided, I placed the pink organ into the casing with the red gel and climbed off of the body. The creature moved no more. I plucked the destroyed head from the spark casing and placed it with the pink thing.

With a sweep of my rotary saw, I removed the robotic head, taking it in my hands and turning it several times.

"Well. Heads, you lose," I said softly. "_Ich habe dich vermisst_, Breakdown."


	6. Chapter 6

**Epilogue.**

* * *

Soundwave tapped on the door to the medical bay, and, when he recieved no answer, entered it. There was no one in there, not even Knock Out, who'd not been seen for a quartex or so.

He looked around, scanning, for signs of life.

Observation: Knock Out is not present

, he mentally noted. He walked forward to check the medic's supply closet, when his foot grazed a rough spot on the floor. He looked down.

The tile had been moved. Soundwave raised his foot and stomped once, feeling for the vibrations beneath his feet. That was the problem. There shouldn't have _been_ any vibrations coming back at all.

He leaned down, wiggling his fingers under the tile and moving it. It seemed to be a chute of some sort. What was this? It wasn't on any blueprints...

He found a crude ladder on the side of the chute and started to climb down, using his tentacles as security. When he got to the floor, he looked up at the pinprick of light that was the medical bay above. He detached Lazerbeak and sent it back up, in case whatever was down there was hostile, and he did not come back.

He spotted a soft purple glow at the end of the small tunnel, and walked toward it. He peered around the corner, and, were he capable, might've been shocked at the sight that met his optics.

Knock Out was down here, all right, but he did not appear to be alone.

"Yes, Breakdown," he murmured. "I'll fix this whole terrible mess very soon."

He was curled in the lap of a large, blue-plated corpse, which had been posed to be sitting. The limbs and head had been reattached in a style similar to that of "exploded" art, with rods stuck in them so that they were not fully attached to the body, there was a gap.

Knock Out had been reconstructing Breakdown's body, but for what purpose?

"I'll bring you back, Breakdown, it's just not the same. I need you," he purred, reaching between his body and the corpse. Soundwave didn't have to zoom in to know what was happening there. "It's not that I don't enjoy our little sessions now, it's just... you're no fun when you just sit here."

Soundwave turned away from the pair, making his way back up to the medical bay. Lazerbeak reattached itself to his chest, and Soundwave patted his drone. He exited the medical bay, bound for the residential sector.

~~  
"What do you require, Soundwave?" Megatron growled, opening the door. "You know I do not like to be disturbed when I have a processorache."

"Response: Soundwave: Has discovered information. Suggestion: Soundwave: Should come in. Explanation: Information: Classified."

The warlord stepped aside, letting his most trusted soldier into his quarters and shutting the door. "What is it?"

"Answer: Knock Out: Not well."

"Well, of course he's not well, Knock Out is a narcissistic moron, who-"

"Interruption: Soundwave: Has misspoken. Apology: Soundwave: Apologizes for interrupting. Continuation: Knock Out: Involved with re-assembly of Breakdown."

"What." Megatron turned to Soundwave, optics narrowed. "What did you say?"

"Repeat: Knock Out: Reassembling Breakdown. Addition: Soundwave: Suspects necrophilia."

"That's... extreme, Soundwave, are you certain?"

Soundwave replayed the video he'd recorded of Knock Out in the hidden chamber.

"_I'll bring you back, Breakdown, it's just not the same. I need you... It's not that I don't enjoy our little sessions now, it's just... you're no fun when you just sit here_."

"Turn it off, Soundwave, I've seen enough." Megatron turned away in disgust.

Soundwave banished the image from his screen and looked up at his master. "Query: Lord Megatron: Intends to do what?"

The warlord turned to his fellow gladiator. "I fear, Soundwave, that our medic has gone around the bend. We shall need to keep an optic on him."


End file.
